The Results Are In
What happened when I took my own medicine
This week, I am sharing my personal experience working with the perspectives and practices of the self-study course, Cultivate Abundance. You might want to say yes to those same practices by signing up for the course, today.
The results of my self-study in abundance.
One of the things about me is that when I'm creating or teaching a topic, I am also doing my own work. With Cultivate Abundance, it has been no different.
Funny enough, I really thought not much would change (cue laugh track). I have been surprised by what has shifted for me over the last six months first, doing a day-long workshop for a non-profit development team that wanted to cultivate an abundance mindset and then deciding to take part of that workshop and make it into a tiny course just for you.
Painful shoulds & seeking external validation.
Returning to our home in Colorado after four years away, my husband retiring from a 28-year military career, supporting our daughter as she transitioned to a U.S. high school, finishing our basement, and then having our crates from Zambia filled with mold (which, by the way, last week -- one year after our move -- our things were finally done with remediation)... I pushed myself, in retrospect, pretty mercilessly.
I was exhausted after the move, finishing my master's degree, and trying to get my bearings in a challenging set of circumstances. But here's what I did. Instead of rest, I decided I had to start my business again. I started coaching as soon as I possibly could (which was wonderful, but quite stressful without an office and a lot of construction happening in our home). I beat myself up for not having the clarity or the energy to run programs. Out of fear, and a lot of "this is how marketing has to be" energy, I dumped a lot of money into a platform and design for my website, thinking that was going to get my business going again.
In so many ways, I was caught in the small, desperate fear of scarcity.
From where I sit today, a year later, I want to hug myself. The ground of my life felt so shaky that I wanted something to feel solid. Work, for me, has typically been that solid ground where I could find enoughness and abundance - work has been the throughline in a chaotic life. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it didn't deliver. But, today that feels like a gift that helped me double and triple down on the sacred practices of Cultivate Abundance.
The commitment to Cultivate Abundance.
For anyone who has been around here a while, you know that daily, sacred practices are a cornerstone of lasting transformation that I believe in for myself and all of my clients. Psychological research into habits has proven that idea in recent years. Despite my strong practices, I knew at the beginning of the year that after banging my head against the proverbial wall, I needed to give myself more sacred nourishment.
I steeped myself in the practices of Cultivate Abundance, giving myself an abundance of time and space for quiet, for processing. I opened to extra support and connection from my beloved friends. I deepened my commitment to being gentle as I stayed with the discomfort of my experience. I moved toward adding more of what I love to my days - connection with my daughter and husband, time spent in nature, gardening, bringing beauty and order to my home, dancing, laughter, reaching out, and making new friends.
Where Cultivate Abundance brought me.
Sinking into the practices of Cultivate Abundance has been just what I need. Over time, my tension about getting my business into a state of growth again has waned. I am (mostly) at peace with what I'm doing. Writing to you and serving the incredible clients I work with is perfect right now. Why? Because I know what my values and priorities are inviting me to explore, instead of fearfully spinning around trying to grow and meet a standard of "success" that isn't mine.
Moving from scarcity to abundance through practice, I am welcoming what my life (and my heart) are truly longing for:
Time and energy for my daughter: as I watch Clara blossom into the woman she is becoming, I know that enjoying her and being available for her when she needs me is a priority. Mothering her has been the most important work of my life to date, without a doubt, and I want to be present for every minute.
Time to travel and adventure: it's been a long year and our family loves to travel together. Covid and moving and Erick's new job have kept us at home for too long. We are joyfully preparing for some summer travels.
Cultivating community in ways I haven't (probably ever) experienced. As a military kid, and a military spouse, being a nomad is what I know. Now that Erick is retired, I want community where I am (such a novel concept). Not only community, but kindred spirits who treasure beauty, play, and fun. Along those lines, I asked for (and received) a very part-time job at my favorite, local downtown boutique, Terra Verde. So two days a week, you will find me there, seeing, encouraging, and adorning the beauty of women with a team of amazing ladies.
Abundance is not always about money.
When I am spinning around in scarcity, I tend to believe that the answer is money. More focus. More control over the uncontrollable. That is rarely, if ever, true. Though it isn't always comfortable, abundance asks us to trust life and step onto the path of who we are meant to be when.
The practices of Cultivate Abundance have, over time, thankfully, blessedly, brought me back to myself. To a vulnerability and softness and honesty about what is true, right now. Aligning my day-to-day life with my values and what is most precious to me. To deep gratitude and appreciation for the infinite abundance that meets me where I am in every moment.
If you are struggling or feeling a sense of not enough or you are thinking you should be somewhere else by now or if you just want to amplify the sense of feeling connected, alive, and filled up in the day-to-day, I invite you to say yes to Cultivate Abundance.
As for me, and the blog...
You can expect this missive to be delivered with less frequency over the summer. I'm going for flow and spaciousness as I travel with my family, enjoy getting to know my community, learn how to garden in Colorado, and embrace the immense love and tender grief of life in flux, both in our family and in the world.
May the coming months be deeply regenerative for you. Please know, that I love to hear from you - if you want to share insights, thoughts, or reflections please reach out.