Perspective is everything

The radical invitation that cuckoo bird offers is to leave the beaten path. It's a bold choice to choose you and your values above familial, societal, or intergenerational pathways.

The Cuckoo Bird, Watercolor and Ink by Nona Jordan, 2023. 

Cuckoo birds are a radical breed. 

When I was painting the cuckoo bird, learning its ways, and listening for its guidance, I was shocked but intrigued to learn that cuckoo birds put their eggs in the nest of smaller birds where the host bird keeps them warm and raises the young cuckoo bird. Not only that, but the mother cuckoo will push the host mother’s eggs out of the nest so her egg gets what it needs. Then, the newly hatched cuckoo pushes the host mother’s babies and eggs out of the nest, so the host mother gives the cuckoo all the food and care. I mean, wow. This is a bird that defies conventions to go her own way. 

Cuckoo Bird, your medicine is welcome. 

When we consider the actions of mother cuckoo birds through the lens of our human societal expectations of behavior, it’s no wonder that cuckoo birds get a bad rap in many places. Oftentimes, our concepts about what is “right” strangle us and keep us stuck in patterns of thinking or acting that are deeply unhelpful or slowly drain the life out of us because it’s what is expected of us or just “how it is.” But does it have to be?

Perspective is everything, isn’t it? 

As I grapple with what it means to have a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (M.S.), I have been considering the mechanism of M.S. and how we collectively tend to talk about it. The immune system erroneously turns on healthy tissues of the body, attacking the myelin sheaths of the nervous system and brain, leaving lesions that lead to loss of function or disability. In treatment, the common language focuses on being a warrior and defeating or destroying the disease, even though, as far as I know, that isn’t possible (yet). I can appreciate this language and the realities of what is happening in my body, but I cannot abide disowning or fighting against a part of my body. I’ve spent enough time at war with myself in my lifetime. 

I am seeking a perspective that prioritizes love. 

I grew up in a family where the most dangerous physical and emotional attacks almost always came from the inside, from the people who were supposed to protect and nurture. As I grew up and left that environment, I internalized that behavior as something I deserved. In my late teens and twenties, I perpetuated violence at my own hands with my cruel self-talk and self-destructive behaviors. I carry that legacy in my body psyche, and I always will, despite the healing I’ve experienced. What if the M.S. is just a mirror of what I believed and lived when I was young? An embodiment of the dangerous environment that I grew up in? It’s such an apt metaphor. What if, for all these years, the whispers of my body carrying this disease have been nudging me toward true, fierce self-love? What if the symptoms pointed me toward healing, toward becoming the woman I was meant to be?

It’s helpful for me to look at M.S. as a part of my makeup that has silently guided me to act on my own behalf in changing my behaviors, working on my healing, and setting clear boundaries. I don’t want to be at war with any part of me—I want to listen closely and embrace my whole self, which includes the disease. When I listen to my body today, it’s an invitation - how much more can I be on my own side, through thick and thin? 

This is my radical perspective of love and personal freedom. 

Contemplate the Cuckoo for yourself. 

When the Cuckoo bird migrates into your life, it’s time to look at the situation through a wider lens and consider where your perspective may be limiting your sense of freedom.  What unconventional alternative thoughts or actions might be just what you need at this time? Explore all options, no matter how radical they seem, and be relentless in staying open to the choice that is true to you, no matter what the prevailing thought may be. Look beyond social conventions and norms, question yourself with love, and look for the perspective that offers you the freedom you seek now.