Embrace the Inner Work
There is nothing wrong with you. You simply need to fall in love with facing the (inner and outer) obstacles when you say yes to the spiritual path of business.
“I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
A client, in the thick of building her business, says this to me after recounting the resistance she has felt to doing the work she had talked about completing. She doesn’t understand. She has a strong why, she has done so much healing work to get here, and she is on fire to support others with her incredible talents… she wonders what is wrong.
In these moments, I wish I were sitting in a cozy chair across from her so I could give her a reassuring hug. This is not an unusual conversation. Not only that, but I know this place intimately in my own business and life. So I can say with conviction, that there is truly nothing wrong.
There is nothing wrong.
In fact, she is right where she needs to be. Running a business of meaning, doing the work of supporting and helping others heal and grow, is not for the faint of heart. There are, of course, the skills of running a business that you have to understand but the real courage needed is to address the inner obstacles - the blessed parts of us that are trying desperately to protect us and keep us safe, keep us small (even invisible), or are afraid to market or charge money, just to name a few.
Any time you choose a path that runs counter to the particular set of norms that you grew up with, are habituated to, or are surrounded by you will need to courageously tend to the inner and outer obstacles to your chosen direction. This is the healing work of choosing the path of your wisest self.
You must fall in love with the obstacles.
At every stage of growth in your business (hell, your life) you will encounter the full gamut of inner tensions, resistance, narratives, fear… all of it. Not to mention the regular hiccups and heartbreaking tragedy of life. This is to be expected. It is an invitation to a new level of growth, that’s all. There is nothing wrong. However, as humans we tend to want to avoid discomfort and sister, facing and working with obstacles falls somewhere on a scale from *uncomfortable* to *my entire identity has been shattered and I don’t know who I am anymore*.
The blessing of welcoming obstacles.
I know it can be beyond painful, confusing, and heartbreaking to set out on a path that is so aligned and then feel as if you have lost the path completely, only to find yourself wondering why the hell you decided to do this crazy thing because it is so. damn. hard.
I believe that we are often faced with an extra onslaught of challenges when we choose the path that calls to us because it gives us the opportunity to do the work and embody the healing that our clients, customers, and students need to do. In other words, the obstacles, the pain, and the healing we are asked to do is in service to the people we are supporting or will support.
So not only do the obstacles transform us, and the depth to which we are able to support the healing work of others, but I believe it also heals our lineage and our communities. Not only has facing my own personal obstacles changed me, but time and again, those same issues show up for healing and transformation in my clients. In addition, I know my own work has broken the legacy of addiction and violence in my family, changing the future of my descendants. The list goes on. The impact is profound.
When we do the inner work, it shapes the world around us.
How do we turn toward the obstacles?
Be with your physical sensations and feelings. When we are in the middle of “it”, it is normal to want to distract or numb or otherwise get the hell away from the pain of hitting the obstacles. Gently, so gently, can you feel your feet on the ground and the movement of your breath? From there, can you give yourself permission to acknowledge, and feel, what is alive in your body psyche? Hear yourself out, and tend to yourself with kindness, as you would a good friend. You get to have all of your feelings and thoughts about what is happening.
Remind yourself that this is part of the path. It’s so important to remember that obstacles and challenges are a part of the journey. As I often say to my daughter, this is how we know we are alive - not just the challenges, but the full range of our experiences mean that we are alive, which in and of itself is miraculous.
What wisdom does this obstacle/challenge have for me? I believe every circumstance is inviting us to heal, grow, or learn something meaningful about ourselves, our life, or our work in the world. To receive the wisdom of our challenges is at the very heart of transmuting our pain into something beautiful and regenerative.
What is my next step? Once you’ve allowed yourself the space to feel and you’ve reminded yourself that obstacles are normal, and welcomed the wisdom and growth that the obstacle is offering you, it’s time to take action. Right action could be hiring a coach or therapist or it could be promoting your work more, or committing a percentage of your income to causes that are aligned with your values. After the first three steps, you will know your next move.
Challenges are part of being alive and on the path.
Obstacles, disappointments, societal narratives, family obligations… whatever form it takes, may you soften to, and welcome, the inner and outer challenges with grace, knowing you are not alone. May you see the obstacles as stepping stones on your chosen path - necessary to becoming the woman you are here to be.
Wait there’s more! When you become a paid subscriber, you will have access to exclusive audio about my relationship with inner obstacles - I would love to discuss it with you. Join me on the other side…
Thank you for being a paid subscriber - to go along with this post, I’ve recorded why I believe that falling in love with the obstacles we face is a necessity for us to blossom into the women we are here to be.
Click here to listen and then come back and tell me in the comments, what flavor of obstacle do you struggle with most? The inner, emotional, and mental obstacles or the skills-based, action-oriented obstacles, or perhaps both?